Roxy passed away on November 24, 2013. Sad doesn’t really begin to cover it. Neither does heartbroken.
Roxy and I met on twitter in 2011 (thanks, Megan) and this surprised just about everyone because we always seemed like we’d known each other forever. I can’t say I have any regrets because we had a no-holds-barred kinda friendship. The last thing we talked about was a combination of cystic labia acne, group sex, and grocery shopping while intoxicated, and I’m totally okay with that.
When my cousin Paul died several years ago I didn’t tell anyone; not my roommate at the time, and not a single friend from college. Because the more people that know about something the more real that thing is, which is particularly true when it comes to loss. In a way, my taking so long to write about it on Broadist is another means of burying my grief, but some of the best advice given to me was “there’s no correct way to mourn.”
Here in Brooklyn, Roxy’s death is still not entirely tangible as most of our friendship was online. It was just a few months ago that she visited New York last.
I ultimately decided this photo was too porny for instagram. Roxy wanted to keep it though, so here it is.
Broadist has always been about feeling it out and going with our gut(s), and I’m starting that process over again, or rather, revisiting what it all means. She appreciated how much I hate logistics and even now, over two months later, I’m still haunted by the logistics of the thing we created together. She would have been the person to ask what to do in this terribly specific and tragic situation.
“What becomes of the banana skirt?” and “How should I edit our bios on Broadist?” both came to mind immediately. How will I fly to LA for her funeral? HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS ON THE INTERNET?
You may have noticed Roxy hadn’t contributed to this blog much since its summer-2011-inception. She started law school that fall and simply put, it was time consuming. Collectively we were always giant balls of anxiety but, as a law student and music industry freelancer, we handled it in different ways. I’ve always found writing to be cathartic whereas she felt it was another obligation, like reading about a case or something. I had a hard time wrapping my head around that concept because she loved Broadist with all her blood and guts and I just wanted her to do what she loved always 100% of the time forever. Whenever she wrote something it was the most magical surprise– I would get a text about it like, “Caroline, look in drafts!” and our hearts would gleam. No matter how few blog posts came from the west coast, the essence of Broadist was always both of us and still is which is fucking weird because Roxy is gone now.
An intimate thing that came up in our friendship (it surfaces in all my friendships, really), is my keen ability to drown myself in work and plummet off radars for months even years without notice. Roxy’s awareness of this was inspiring and kept me in check: “I know you always say you get busy and just disappear from peoples’ lives but you can’t do that with me, okay?” Now that she’s gone I resolve so actively to stop disappearing. If you get a weird email or phone call or postcard or something, or if you notice a blog post maybe, please understand that I’m trying so hard not to disappear. Nothing is as important as the people you love which sounds so cliché but is truer than ever now that I’ve lost yet another close friend this past month. Just trust me, ok? Losing contact is not worth it.
People really need to stop dying because this is hard to write and I am selfish and about to go on a tangent so I’ll stop with one last intimate thing that came up in Roxy and my friendship/texts after her visit here.
Rox: Knock knock Me: ass ass ass ass ass Rox: TITTIES. Ugh I miss you bunches. Me: Miss you too. I am going to bed now because I’m exhausted. Rox: Ok I’m going to cry because I can’t find soup. Me: I want to feed you soup. Rox: Let’s get married.
I love you, lady. RIP. Broadist isn’t going anywhere.
15. Sallie Ford & The Sound Outside – Untamed Beast (Partisan)
16. The Baptist Generals – Jackleg Devotional To The Heart (Sub Pop)
17. La Luz – It’s Alive (Hardly Art)
18. Diane Coffee – My Friend Fish (Western Vinyl)
19. Lovers – A Friend In The World (Badlands)
20. Ra Ra Riot – Beta Love (Barsuk)
Honorable mentions, duh: Juana Molina – Wed 21 (Crammed Discs), Javelin – Hi Beams (Luaka Bop), Phosphorescent - Muchacho (Dead Oceans), Washed Out – Paracosm (Sub Pop), Local Natives – Hummingbird (Frenchkiss), The Ruby Suns – Christopher (Sub Pop), Upset – She’s Gone (Don Giovanni).
1. Still Corners “Berlin Lovers”
2. Naughty Boy feat. Sam Smith “La La La”
3. Phantogram “Black Out Days”
4. Speedy Ortiz “No Below”
5. Blood Orange “It Is What It Is”
6. John Grant “GMF”
7. The Blow “Hey”
8. Diane Coffee “Wwwoman”
9. Jon Hopkins feat. Purity Ring “Breathe This Air”
10. Kate Nash “Sister”
Honorable mentions, duh: Dungeonesse “Drive You Crazy,” Phosphorescent “Song for Zula,” Javelin “Nnormal,” The Ruby Suns “Kingfisher Call Me,” Ra Ra Riot “Angel Please,” Deer Tick “The Rock,” Those Darlins ” Western Sky,” J. Roddy Walston & The Business “Take It As It Comes,” Brazos “Charm,” Cub Sport “Pool!,” Soko “I just want to make it with you,” The Black Angels “Don’t Play With Guns.”
FAVORITE EPS: Tie between Phantogram + Bad Cop
FAVORITE COVER SONGS
Ebony Bones feat. The London Children’s Choir “What Difference Does It Make” (originally by The Smiths)
Ane Brun feat Linnea Olsson “Halo” (originally by Beyonce)
Upside Drown “Please Believe Me” (originally by Art Neville)
(my coworker Christine, me, Basil + Olive, at Barcade)
I can’t tell y’all how proud I am to finally hold my ground as a “music industry professional.” Freelancing was fun and all, and I feel great about where I’m at now, but when I stop and think about how I worked on the majority of…
That moment when I realize I never posted my “Best of 2012” list on here. Hey girl hey.
From my friend, Martha: “My old boss, Aimee, is looking for a full time admin assistant, starting immediately, for her designer wallpaper company. Quickbooks a plus. Her email is aimee [at] aimeewilder [dot] com. I’m assuming Wordpress/Big Cartel experience would also be helpful.”
distillerpromo: Happy New Year, friends! Wanna work in the music industry? Learn from us! We’re still looking for some stellar new interns in 2013 (specifically for this winter/spring semester, and beyond of course).
Interns will assist members of our Williamsburg or Portland-based radio promotion teams in physical/digital distribution and data entry of tour dates and chart numbers. Other responsibilities include composing blog posts and tweets, assisting with tour pitching, and staying on top of relevant press, events, and concerts. Pending the candidate’s interest and knowledge, this internship has the potential to expand into such responsibilities as building newsletters, spearheading various social media projects, setting up in-studios, and beyond. Perks include access to concerts, exclusive performances, and radio events, plus complimentary vinyl, CDs, and other merchandise. Also, delicious coffee. [Edit: sometimes snacks and alcohol].
The ideal candidate should have a passion for independent music, an interest in radio and marketing, and a strong background in writing/communication. Attention to detail is a must. Special qualifications include proficiency in WordPress and Filemaker Pro, as well as an intuitive sense for Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, and other social media interfaces.
This is an unpaid internship for credit, with a minimum requirement of 8 hours per week (1 day); maximum of 24 hours per week (3 days).
Distiller Promo is a premiere provider of college, non-commercial AAA and commercial specialty radio promotion services for an internationally known group of labels including Daptone, ESL, Partisan, Barsuk, Domino, Saddle Creek, Astralwerks, Wichita, Six Degrees, Western Vinyl, White Iris and many more. We’re looking forward to working with you and hope share our expertise with the right intern(s).
Interested applicants should please contact Caroline Shadood by email at email@example.com. Thanks!
A dive bar is a place that should have cheap beer, yes, but also decent service and some sense of being permanently etched into the landscape. If it’s baffling or intimidating to newcomers, all the better. If you walk into a bar, sit down with your beer and are suddenly being lectured on the terrible decision the Rangers made to trade for goddamn Phil Esposito 40 years ago, you know you’re in the right place. Or at least I know I am. A dive bar, more than any other kind of bar, is a place that acts as a bulwark against a world that is more often completely shitty than anything else.
“I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish.”—Simone de Beauvoir (via ceedling)
What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.
14 doesn’t feel so long ago… Thank you for this question. It’s fitting, because I am 24, about to turn 25, so a nice ten years past that age. My answer is partially advice, partially things I wish I knew a lot sooner, and partially stuff I would like to say to my 14-year-old self right now.
Only hang out with people you like.
I promise that no matter your appearance, you will be loved romantically one day. By multiple people, on and off… maybe even for the rest of your life! It’ll happen.
Don’t let anyone tell you that art isn’t as important as science or math.
Be nice. You never know when someone is having a shitty day/week/month/year/life/etc.
Society operates in a way that slates women and girls against one another. The best way to resist this is to love yourself and others.
Try not to judge, but instead to observe.
Racism is real. Understand and resist.
Sexism is real. Understand and resist.
Like what you like because you like it, but recognize that your taste is informed by the culture you immerse yourself in. Be critical of the media you consume.
Don’t follow purported social guidelines to normalcy because it’s irrelevant and unrealistic. ‘Normal’ is a social construct.
Actually, a lot of things are social constructs! Get a book on social constructionism ASAP. I recommend Michael Foucault.
Speaking of Foucault, try not to pay too much $$$ for college. There are ways around it.
You are not required to respect people who don’t respect you back. Merit is everything.
You can set boundaries with your family. It may not feel like a possibility right now, but you will one day have the strength to do it.
Non-acetone nail polish remover is for suckers. Get the good shit.
Disclaimer: I don’t work for Kickstarter. I don’t have an account. I don’t have a project of my own for you to look at.
Like most broke folks, I am sincerely, both-feet-in awe-struck by the website known as Kickstarter, “the world’s largest funding platform for creative projects.” And like you, probably, I’ve noticed an influx of people in my network using the site to their advantage. And, like nobody wants to admit, I never give them my money because I am poor.
Somewhere along the line, though, I took a liking to the platform and to helping people fund their dreams. So like any freelancer, I investigated what makes it tick, and I started consulting friends and acquaintances on their kickstarting plights. These are some tips I’ve culled and insights I’ve gathered from friends with bangin’ campaigns.
I gotta say, this is one of our proudest broad-related moments of all time.
I went through my college years absorbing every page of BUST and yearning to one day be a part of this amazing publication. Well, I’m not a contributor (yet?) but I can say that seeing myself on Bust’s blog…